Framed in Blood
by Janet69
Summary: Mirjami Laaksonen is a vampire, and a chagrined one at that. Living in Finland for the past 400 years, she refuses to accept nearly everything. Her abusive boyfriend Aleksi isn't really helping her face her fears of humanity, either.


Love was something denied to me for so long. Love, I always believed, was such a stupid word. But still, I had always wanted it. I'd had my fair share of infatuations, but they were nothing but bleak and empty attempts at love. And the one time I finally fully comprehended what it was, it was taken away as quickly as it had come. I still don't understand how it happened. I've tried as hard as I could, and somehow the pieces still don't seem to fit.

One small tear found its escape through the corner of my eye, leaving a smudge of dark grey in its path. I felt the warm wetness slide cautiously down my cheek, and I for once allowed myself to cry. I pulled my hood closer to my head, fending off the cold Helsinki air. If I tried hard enough, I could still faintly catch the scent of him preserved in the worn fabric. For just a moment I held the sleeve closer to my nose, trying hard not to breathe onto it. The scent of my breath would overpower his, and I wanted it long as possible.

Three lit candles circled the front of me, their orange flames playing delightfully with the winter breeze. If let out a light sigh, the closest flame would shudder violently from my breath's weight. I absently gazed at his tombstone, but no matter how much I stared, he wouldn't come back. His name etched deep in the stone mockingly stared back at me, immortalizing his deficiency.

Freezing wind nipped at my exposed nose, turning it a faint red as it worked on pulling my hair loose. I had long since tried keeping it tucked behind my ears. A light pain filled my belly, and I only wanted to cry more. I let a chilled hand with brightened fingertips rest softly over it, feeling the warmth it faintly emanated. I let out a small sigh, and closed my eyes tightly.

Every night I visited his grave. Whether it be out of fear his existence wasn't real or out of pain I'd never see him again, I didn't know. I just chose to wait the nights away sitting in front of his headstone and talking to him, or what I wanted to believe was him. I told him everything I would've if he were still alive. It had become so much of a habit; I'd panic if I hadn't spent the night in the cold cemetery.

Sometimes my eyelids would get heavy, and I'd press my forehead against the cold ground packed tightly over where his coffin lay, but sleep wouldn't come. I no longer slept; sleep was too close to death for my liking. How languid and unanimated a body looked while unconscious. The thought of such a thing frightened me, and I opened my eyes in trying to rid the image from my mind.

I hadn't spoken in several hours, the cold seizing its chance to numb my lips. The words I wanted to say hung on the tip of my tongue, eagerness urging them forward. I wanted to say it night after night, but fear held them back. I had to tell him tonight, I'd put it off for far too long.

I clenched my cold fingers tighter around my stomach as the wind kicked at my hair again, sticking it to a wet spot on my cheek. I sighed once again, and straightened my body away from the cold headstone I'd been leaning on.

"I'm going to tell you a story," My voice was soft as I spoke, the brittle air giving it a raspy tinge. The familiar fear that prevented me from continuing arose, and I bit my bottom lip to push it back down.

"There once lived a vampire…" It was going to be more difficult than I'd hoped, I already knew, but I forced myself to keep going. "She lived in a castle, all alone. She spent years and years confining herself inside the cold stone walls, fear holding onto her tight, taking her hand like a child's..."

I paused once again, trying to suppress the swelling lump in my throat. A longing for his touch enveloped me, nearly paralyzing me. "And so, I bring you my story..."

"Mirja, did you take your medicine?" Possessing no curiosity, I had chose to stare out the window as my therapist drowned me with waves of empty words. I stopped listening after the fourth visit; this was now approximately my fifteenth. I had quickly realized that either what she said could never help me, or I just didn't want the help. Habouring a sigh, I forced myself to look at her.

"Yeah, I did," I replied uninterestedly, instantly returning my gaze to the falling snow. I could feel her glare; the sharp heat of it hurt the side of my head. I heard the blood rushing heatedly through her temples, her disgruntled thoughts, mostly pertaining me, frantically racing through her mind.

"You know lying about it won't get you anywhere, and procrastinating won't help, either." She replied, growing irritated with my lack of assiduousness.

I watched as she scribbled notes on her clipboard, paying me no heed. I stared at the aging lines on her face, the deep creases in her skin that mine would never obtain.

"I know, I know. And I did, I feel better than ever." I let what I hoped to be convincing words stumble from my lips. Her and I both knew I never took my medicine; I hated it. It did nothing for me anyways, except sometimes make me more exasperated.

I kicked my feet lightly above the floor, my restless hands fumbling with the buttons on my coat. The carpet below me was the ugliest shade of yellow I'd ever seen, it looked almost brown. I let out a bored sigh just as the little timer sitting on her desk went off.

"Please, Mirjami, take your medication. I'll see you next week." She muttered, knowing I'd just ignore her, as she pushed her glasses up her nose. I gritted my teeth as I stood, I hated when people called me by my full name.

"Yeah, I will, don't worry about it." I spat out as I walked out the door. The hall was long and creaky as I walked down it, leading me to a waiting room where two others sat waiting and a secretary typing furiously at her desk.

I reached for the doorknob, my energy inflating now that I finally could move about freely. The metal knob was frigid, cooling my hot skin as I touched it. Pulling the stiff door open, the caustic snow greeted me. The cement steps were nearly sleeted with ice as I set my foot on them; the thin fabric of my sneakers leaking in cold air. I tried to tighten my long coat around me as I briskly walked down the street. I kept my head down from keeping the bitter wind from stinging my eyes.

Unable to see where I was going, I bumped into someone; the unexpected collision caused me to stumble backwards into the snowy sidewalk. Freezing powdery snow fell on my face, instantly numbing my cheeks.

"Sorry, love." I heard a deep voice mumble as a hand reached out, sheathed in a black fingerless glove. Somewhat hesitant, I let my fingers slip in the warm palm, the leather soft as it stuck to my flesh. Once I had regained my balance, I lifted my gaze to meet my assailant.

"Again, I apologize," he said, watching as I dusted myself off. I had dirty snow clinging to my coat, turning into blotches of wet as it quickly melted from my body's warmth.

My perpetrator had jet-black hair, just barely reaching the top of his shoulders. He wore nothing but black; a band shirt sticking out of a leather jacket, his eyes rimmed by two black pieces of reflecting plastic. His legs were covered in dark jeans with various chains clinging into the oversized belt loops.

"Accidents happen," I shrugged as I finished wiping the snow off my pants. I had forgotten my gloves, so my fingertips had turned a pale red and stung from the cold. I imagined the tip of my nose matched the flattering colour, the red an excellent contrast to my milky-white skin.

"Well, thanks," I murmured, allowing a small wave before pulling my soaked shoes from the snow bank and began walking away.

I didn't have to look behind me; I could feel his eyes still watching me hurry down the street. I had the urge to look at him once more before he disappeared into the streets of Helsinki, but I resisted and walked on.

The longer I walked, the harder the snow fell and the more ludicrous I felt trying to plow myself through the snow. My nearly all-black attire had been covered in a thin sheet of white snow, melting into the once-warm fabric and gaining a layer of fresh, powdery snow.

Once I made it up the snow-covered steps of the building, I rested against the door. The added weight of the freezing ice had exhausted me. After a moment, I built up the energy to open the door and head inside.

The stale warmth of the building instantly permeated me, making my hands sting in pain as it unfroze the blood in my veins. I kicked clumps of snow from my shoes as I headed towards the elevator. It was one of those old fashioned ones, black and creaky; rusted in spots that would never work again. It often broke, leaving me puzzled as to why no one bothered replacing it.

I pressed the elevators up button several times before I realized yet again it wasn't working. Hissing curses under my breath, I turned around and started walking up the three flights of stairs.

"Karri?" I called as I opened the door. By the time I had reached the top, I had lost all the breath in my lungs. I stepped into the dimly lit apartment expecting my roommate to be in there, sitting in darkness watching the television. No response came, and I slid the rest of my body through the small crack I had made.

"Karri," I called again, my voice louder in hopes shed hear. I switched the light on, hastily eradicating the darkness, enabling my eyesight to work. Once adjusted to the recently acquired light, I found there was a note taped to the usually bare refrigerator.

Karri was going to be late tonight, as she could be quite notorious for, so I'd be better off not waiting for her arrival. After skimming her scrawled handwriting, I crumpled the paper up and tossed it in the trash.

The entire apartment was barely light, but then again we often both basked in darkness. I curled up on the couch not bothering to remove my coat, falling asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.

The fleeting slumber was cut off as blinding sunlight pierced through the tattered curtains, hitting my face in bright, prying rays. I really had no intention of getting up, but the sun told me otherwise. I let out a light groan, rolled onto my other side and strained to look at the old clock on the wall. It was almost 2 in the afternoon. I normally didn't sleep so late; I must have been unusually tired. I stood up, as much as I reviled to have, and skulked into the kitchen.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty." Karri called from where she sat. I shot her a look as I paused, standing in the middle of the kitchen.

"Don't forget, you're working tonight!" She reminded me, tilting her head as she looked up at me. She was sitting on the seat pretzel legged, her long blonde hair draped over her shoulders. An empty bowl of cereal sat on the table in front of her, despite the fact it was late afternoon.

I scowled in dissatisfaction as I dragged my body to the fridge, scanned the schedule on the door. Karri leaped playfully from her chair to put the milk back in the refrigerator.

"Tonight is going to be packed," she smirked gleefully as she slid her lean body towards the door, slipping on her coat. "I've got to go set up anyways, huge local band playing tonight," she then added, waving her hands in the air in sardonic enthusiasm. "I'll see you later." She stated, slipping out the door.

A peculiar silence abruptly filled the residence, one that sent the tiny little hairs on my arm to elevate in familiar foreboding. I let my lungs deflate every last ounce of air, admonishing my nerves to calm down as I reached over and turned the knob on to the shower. I slipped out of my clothes and into the heat of the water, letting it hit my bare body in small beads. For about fifteen minutes, I stood there letting the steam and water encase my skin. Within another ten minutes I had stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my pasty, damp body.

I stepped carefully from the restroom, small streams of vaporized water trailing towards the ceiling once the door was opened. The afternoon sunlight kept the apartment lit, permitting me the small freedom of not having to stumble in the dark. Small puddles formed at my toes as I briskly prowled to my door, entering the dark sanctuary of my room. My shades danced lightly against the open window, letting in the slightest bit of light.

Tossing my dirty clothes in a laundry basket that I'd have to attend to later on, I made my way across my cramped room stuffed with unpacked boxes. A somewhat recent attempt to move, bringing me as far as the threshold, left half my belongings taped in cardboard boxes, the rest of it tossed on the floor. My bed was disheveled, for I never bothered keeping it kempt.

I let myself thump to the floor, my wet legs crossed beneath me, a large box sitting before me. My still slightly damp hands left faint handprints on the boxes as I ripped the tops open, digging through the endless heaps of black fabric.

A stale smell emerged from some of the clothes, having sat too long in their box. I scowled as I slipped clothing on, kicking the smelly clothes to the corner. I decided I would have to do laundry before I left. A voluminous shirt covered my small frame, hiding my waist and chest. Some band name was scrawled on the front, the peeling fabric paint depicting an album cover.

My stomach felt a little unsettled, I decided it was from the absence of food in my stomach. I hauled myself into the kitchen, rummaging through the cabinets. I really wasn't in an eating mood, so I just took a few cookies and nibbled on them as I walked into the living room.

I turned the television on, though walked away without bothering to see what was on. Since I don't listen to the radio, the apartment would be filled with an eerie silence I wouldn't like without the television on.

I slipped back into my bedroom, the obscurity much more comfortable than the sunlight-drowned living room. The deep crimson of my walls kept the room even darker, with the black shades encumbering the light. My eyes always attuned easily to this sudden shift. A tinge of an unpleasant odor sifted through the air in my room, reminding me of the musty clothes that lay upon my carpet. I grimaced, but still bent to gather the garments up and throw them in the basket. Once completed with this task, I grabbed one of the plastic handles and began dragging it towards the laundry room. The plastic was a thin material beneath my palm and easily cracked with the grip I placed on it.

Idly making my way to the washer, the uncomfortable empty feeling rustled inside my stomach again. I shut my eyes tightly, silently disposing it. I decided I'd take some painkillers to soothe it; I must just have an upset stomach.

I stepped into the laundry room, using my free hand to open the top of the washing machine. As the water began filling it, I closed my eyes, unconcerned with the clothes I was currently tossing in the machine. I felt slightly ill, and I really just wanted to sleep. I reopened my eyes as I slammed the lid down, the water splashing on the clothes beneath it.

Kicking the plastic basket aside, I left the room feeling a yawn squirming its way up my throat. I unenthusiastically released it as I sat myself on the couch. The lids of my eyes felt the weight of exhaustion, as if each lash was a fine strand of lead. I let myself close them, exhaling as I pushed my head backwards into the sofa, ignoring the television.

I listed several different options for the cause of my sudden fatigue. I hoped it was merely a cold brought by the unpleasant air of winter and not a heavy craving for blood. A simple ailment would be better than my body's needs.

Warm breath innately slipped through my lips once again, my eyes refusing to open. I placed my palm over my forehead, my fingertips gently touching the crease of my closed eyes. A malicious smile curved across my lips as I recalled the bittersweet taste of blood; the beast inside me rustling from its abeyance.

I wrenched my eyes open, the raw clarity of the afternoon light taming my beast. I had to keep it asleep as long as I could, feeding only when it demanded instincts over sanity. Slowly I let my eyes close, biting my lip to draw blood. The proverbial taste should drug it back to bed, keeping it tucked in the depths of my body.

I insufflated in ease, the warmth from my hand satisfied my pallid skin. I tossed my body over, burying my face in the side of the couch. My knees were pulled up close to my chest, keeping the little body heat I had to myself. My veins pulsed with my own cold blood, enervation wearing my energy out. I pulled a pillow over my head, letting no cracks of light penetrate my comforting darkness. I heaved yet another sigh, my body breathing calmly as actor's voices kept the quiet away.

The sunlight continued to batter my face, even when buried beneath the sofa pillows. My body was sore and I wanted sleep, and the bitter rays of sun only goaded me more. I kicked a foot loose, throwing the pillow away from my squinting face. I figured the only place my lethargic body could find composure was in the environment I had created for myself among the dusty obscurity of my room.

Pushing my palms into the sofa, I hauled myself up, letting myself stand there for a moment to regain balance then heading covetously towards my bed. The soft quilt felt more than perfect against my face, my provoked lids able to close contentedly.

In the depth of my mind, I subconsciously knew I was only getting worse. Months without blood weren't the healthiest method of vegetarian vampirism, but I did not care. I didn't allow myself to even consider such a thought, since I plainly didn't want to. I wanted to think I was commonly ill, and by burrowing my sleepy face in the pillowcases I rid my aching belly and mind of self-control, the deep silence of sleep taking over me.

What seemed like minutes of sleep was quickly torn from me as a raucous vibrating sound congesting the silence. I rolled over drowsily on my bed, scrunching up the blankets beneath me. My head felt as if it weighed more than lead, and my stomach throbbed painfully. I scowled frustratingly as I forced my eyes open, the pretentious green numbers on the clock staring me in the face. The added glow of a ringing cell phone only raked the dark from the room.

"Shit," I muttered once my eyes met the clock. I'd slept longer than I thought, the minutes twisted into hours. I let my legs slide away from my body, the coarse carpet catching their fall. My dark hair cascaded dryly down my shoulders, the dampness desiccated as I had slept. My slender fingers slid through them, pulling the clumpy strands loose as I slid myself off the bed, immediately looking around the floor for some stray socks. Crawling hurriedly on the floor, I managed to find a pair crumpled in the corner, snatching them up and pulling them on my cold feet.

The television spat advertisements at the empty room as I entered, slamming my palm down to shut it up as I bolted out into the kitchen. There was just enough time to put makeup on before I had to sprint down the street. Karri drove the only car, and since I opted to walk a majority of the time, she had assumed it would be fine if she took it.

Most of my clothes were still damp in the washer, and I had no time to throw them in the dryer. Blindly snatching a pair of scissors as I retreated into the lavatory, I grabbed a shirt left behind on the floor from either one of us as I snipped a tear in the neck. As I examined my manufacturing, I thrust aside the scissors. It clutched my chest nicely, accentuating the curve of my hips as well as outlining my thin frame.

Satisfied, I dumped the contents of Karri's makeup, which sat on the corner of the sink in a small purple container. Used sticks of eyeliner and tubes of mascara rolled around in the sink, leaving stains of black on the white marble as they swayed. I uncapped the nearest stick and began delineating deep lines around the edges of my eyes, continuing with prompt strokes of the mascara's brush. The dark lashes curled delicately outward, framing the bright blue of my pupils with a harsh black. I blinked a couple times, adjusting the weight of the makeup on my features, then pushed away from my tedious reflection.

The bathroom's floor was littered with clothes, my coat a piece of the ever-growing pile. Having slept in the clothes I dressed in yesterday, I removed them when I bathed this morning. My never-tied sneakers huddled in the corner; they'd been kicked off to allow myself to undress. I snatched them up impatiently, thrusting my feet in the soles as I tugged my arms out the coats sleeves.

I ran a quick check around the apartment, making sure every electrical implement was off as I awkwardly placed the coat button together. I made sure to lock the front door, slipping the brass key into my pocket as I smoothly moved down the several flights of steps.

Outside the snow was scathing as it had previously been, nestling innocently on the sidewalks in mountainous piles of the cleanest white yet still burning my warm fingers. There was only a wet patch of brown sidewalk before me, the remaining sidewalk buried beneath the frost.

I kept my pace monotonous, the steady rate seemingly passing the time. I eventually forgot the numbing sensation of my skin freezing, the thought of pain no longer nipping at my subconscious.

The proficient suburban buildings evolved into fiercely lit franchises, intense lights blooming into riotous colours. I slid through clustered people walking about town, knowing exactly where I was going. I knew the area like the back of my hand, so I had no problem twisting my way through with my eyes shut. I could hear numerous lungs breathing haphazardly, the hastening sound of blood cells conducting along with it.

An extensive line waited at the door, and I figured there was no way I could weasel through. Instead I entered through a side door, slumping my shoulders for my coat to slide off. Leaving it on a nearby hook, I headed out into the riotous, crowded club. I had to push my way through grinding pairs to make it to the bar. Dramatic neon lights lit up the various alcohol bottles on display, plain white lights shone from the bar's ceiling, illuminating myself as well as the other bartenders. Out of the entire club, the bar was the most garishly lit corner.

"Hey babe," Teemu greeted me, an almost burnt-out cigarette hanging from his lips. I smiled at him and stretched on my toes to leave a kiss on his cheek. Teemu was an old friend of Karri and I, and a sweetheart at that. He always smelled of smoke, and at least once a month his Mohawk's colour changed.

"Have you seen Karri?" I asked, the resonant music forcing me to nearly shout. He shook his head, leaving his cigarette stub in an ashtray as he reached up to take a bottle down. Four clear shot glasses sat on the sticky counter in front of him, four men seated on the stools behind those.

"Can you take care of this for me?" Teemu passed the liquor into my hands, reaching below the bar to pull out several beers. A group of girls had placed their alluring bodies at the bar, apparently pleasing to his eye. An idea sparking, I picked at the neck of my top to accentuate my breasts in hopes I'd receive more tips.

"How are you guys doing tonight?" I sweetly said, screwing the cap off the liquor bottle. Approving smiles were flashed as I tipped the nozzle, pouring a copious amount into each glass. The exceedingly sonorous music vibrated strongly enough to send petite ripples shuddering over the liquid's surface.

Their greedy hands reached across and snatched their individual glass, gulping the alcohol within seconds. The fastest chugger slammed his glass down, the rest of them cheering loudly at his skill. One of them laid down a fifty-dollar bill, so I slid the bottle towards them, allowing them to pour their own shots.

Teemu slid himself next to me as the girls walked away, each of them carrying a semi-full martini glass in their perfectly manicured hands. A new cigarette was held firmly in his mouth, the orange end glowing in perfect synchronization with the neon lights surrounding us.

"Here," his voice was barely perceptible as he passed a cigarette towards me. I plucked it from his fingertips, raising it to my lips as two men stumbled towards the bar in need of beer. Nodding to their demands, I pressed my lips together to hold the butt as I slid two fresh beers across the counter.

"Hey babe, you want to come shake that ass on the floor with us?" One of them smiled as he spoke, his mouth as grimy as his voice sounded.

"No, thank you," I shook my head, taking a step back. The cigarette and fallen from my lips and now lay on the floor, broken from my shoe.

"Come on, don't be shy," he coaxed, though his attempts failed. I would not budge from where I stood, keeping my fisted hands behind my back. I opened my mouth to tell him to fuck off when the sight of Teemu's fist suddenly entered my line of vision.

"She said no," he hissed, his hands still clenched. His brow was furrowed tightly as he was evidently annoyed. I released my clasped fingers, letting my arms fall limply at my side.

"Thanks," I acknowledged him, raising my small arms to wrap around his waist in gratitude. He ruffled my hair, giving me a smile as he muttered an "anytime". After releasing him, we both turned back to work.

I glanced back at the two men, who had turned their backs to the bar. The one who'd remained quiet the whole time had left some bills on the counter as payment. I scooped them up, feeling the thin crispness of the paper beneath my fingers. As I opened the cash register to place the bills in, Karri appeared beside me.

"Hi!" she exuberantly called, watching me as I closed the drawer. She reached behind me, bringing over a bottle of Tequila. I reached beneath the counter for two glasses.

"A toast to us," she giggled, pouring the tequila into the cups. I took the already full one as she finished filling the other. I raised my glass to hers, the tinkling of glass colliding temporarily overpowering the music. Karri could just barely hear the impact, the noise louder to me than her.

I elevated the cup to my lips, the sugary taste of raspberry tequila rolling over my tongue. Karri did the same, only drinking in too much and ended up spitting up all over the counter. I put my glass down; she did the same, laughing at her mishap. She wiped at her face as I ripped some paper towels up to mop up the counter.

"Are you okay?" I asked, my giggled warping my voice. She nodded, reaching over to help me clean the mess.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about this," she apologized, choking out the last of her giggles. Our hands were wet and sticky as we threw the paper towels sodden with tequila away.

"So how has it been tonight?" I asked her as I passed her a fresh paper towel soaked with clean water for her to wipe her hands.

"Busier than I thought, the band's bigger than I anticipated." She shrugged, crumpling her used paper towel into a ball once she was finished. I leaned my stomach against the counter, the lights lining its sides illuminating my shirt.

"We're making good money though," she added, following my example and pressing herself against the counter.

"We need it. I haven't eaten a decent meal in weeks," I teased, picking the wrapping off of a nearby straw.

"Yeah," she agreed, giggling lightly. "Don't worry, you'll get paid soon. I'll pay myself later tonight," she arched her eyebrows, a playful smile transpiring on her lips. I nudged her shoulder with mine, readying myself to respond when I was cut off by the sound of my name.

I followed the sound of his voice, which wasn't very far off. Aleksi stood on the other side of the bar, the colourful lights reflecting in his glasses. His lips were pressed firmly together, not cracking into a smile once.

"We need to talk," His voice was brisk as he spoke, accented heavily. The playful smile faded instantaneously, though the rest of my body did not move.

"Just wait until my shift is over," I murmured, adverting my gaze to the marble countertop. Dread was bubbling in the back of my throat, gluing me to where I stood.

"Now, Mirjami." He spoke monotonously, the syllables spoken dully and flat. I shook my head, knowing my voice would squeak terribly if I uttered a word.

"Just go, it'll be quick, I'll cover for you," Karri whispered, nudging me towards him. I reluctantly let her push me, for I knew there was no winning that war.

We silently maneuvered our way through the dancing horde of people; his firm hand clasped mine in a rough hold until we reached the back door. I quietly watched him pull cigarettes from his pocket, stuffing one into his mouth as he pushed the door with his shoulder. I did not move, flinching only when the metal collided loudly in my ears.

Taking in a sharp breath, I pushed the heavy metal door open and a cold burst of air greeted me. Locks of black hair ruffled around my face, small pieces sticking to the insides of my eyes. Goosebumps augmented on my exposed skin, the heat dispatched from my flesh. The moon shone in the blackened sky, the only source of invigorating light.

I heard Aleksi's voice growl from the shadows, reminding me of why I was standing where I was. I didn't respond; I just looked down at my hands. I've learned the best way to avoid saying the wrong thing was to not speak at all. His footsteps treaded louder as he approached me, the slurred tone of voice difficult to decipher.

"Look at me when I talk to you," he commanded, his calloused fingers holding my chin up. I stared blankly at him, keeping my expression vacant, trying not to stir any more malevolence from showing. The rage and bitterness that now filled his lifeless eyes bore into me painfully, an aching reminder of what he had become.

"I'm sorry," I whispered my apology, knowing I had done wrong for not paying attention. My gaze fell to the ground, Aleksi visible through the thin crevices between my lashes.

"You lied to me," he murmured, his face squirming in several emotions I couldn't distinguish. My head shook slightly, my voice unable to protest its denial. His grasp still held strong, making my nod more challenging than I'd thought.

Aleksi chuckled, the gruff noise sounding more like a bark than a laugh. His face was unbearably close to mine, his stale breath filling the air every time his mouth opened. I only stood where I was held, looking down at my shoes as his voice twisted its way inside me. I let my arms hang limply down beside me, the wind whipping stronger as strands of my hair contentedly went with it.

His grip released only to completely collide with my cheek. The brusque, scratchy metal of a ring he wore cut into my flesh, small droplets of crimson staining his fingers. The pain was quick, harsh for a moment and lingering no longer.

"Lair!" Aleksi bellowed, his voice filling every once-silent orifice of where we stood. He leaned away, a profane smile playing on his lips as he let all physical contact with me go. I followed the sight of my own blood with my eyes, my stare riveted, waking the beast from its slumber.

I wanted it, the desire for such a precious liquid growled within my inhuman body. The smell, though it was of my own, was still copious and rich of its metallic fragrance. I lifted my trembling hand to the small wound, smearing one finger's flesh with blood. It rested thin and watery on the tip, gleaming pleasingly at me.

"I fucking hate you," he whined in a raspy whisper, my hypnotic stare broken. The hunger dissipated, leaving the tiniest corner of my mind disappointed like I so often tended to do.

I watched as he slowly lowered his cigarette and flung it towards the ground. His worn boot stomped it out, and for a mere moment I heard the faint hiss of snow killing the flare. My mouth wanted to retaliate, to tell him to leave me and never speak to me again, but my tongue refused to do anything more than lie on the floor of my mouth.

He began spouting off more insults, more excuses of my erroneousness though I did not listen. My eyes squeezed shut, the sound of his voice distant as I let my own noise obstruct my head. Warm trickles of blood glided mellifluously down my cheek, falling in tender drops rather than a steady stream.

In the core of his rasped seething, Aleksi was overcome with a fit of coughing, violent bursts of air aggressively escaping his lungs. Raucously inhaling, I stood watching his body shake. He recovered in within a moments pace, returning to his tall stature as he had stood before.

Saying nothing more, he scuffed uneasily towards where I stood, stopping an inch or so before me to lay a light kiss on my forehead. The custom was quite familiar, Aleksi's body was listlessly dying and he suffered from convulsions. Benevolence overtook his anger afterwards, even for a short moment, and reminders of who he was sometimes showed. He turned silently and walked away, leaving me where I was.

Anxiety still encased my heart tightly, leaving a compressed feeling in my chest. I let myself subside, propping myself cross-legged on the icy ground, wiping the smeared blood from my cheek. The kiss meant nothing to me, for Aleksi never truly meant it. His personality was slightly cracked, his moods changed more expeditiously than I could realize.

A weak gust of air slipped through my lips and I felt my eyes blur, though no tears stung the crease. My already-dead lungs craved nicotine, the cancer eating at my body dying for more. It couldn't kill me, and it no longer hurt, it just wanted to be fed. My skin and bones had become just a hollow shell for prevalent parasites, my mind the only thing I had complete control over.

My hands shook timidly in my lap as I sat peacefully on the ground, the bovine within me all impelling at once. I raised one of my hands, the caked blood flaking off on my lips. A small piece of desire faded, but the flavour of my own blood disgusted me. I wanted, badly needed, the taste of someone else on my tongue.

I closed my eyes securely, raising the undead within me as caliginosity overpowered my sight. It greedily overflowed throughout the tendons in my body, infecting the healthy blood in my veins. I could've denied it all I wanted, but reality was craving hunger was the cause of my ailment. Trenchant laughter slipped through my teeth, two of the top pointed dreadfully. Maybe I was just as crazy as he was.

Pushing the last of the shattering giggles out of my stomach, I lifted a shaking hand and coldly slapped the imbrued side of my face. A sharper pain stung the cut, snapping my humane mind returning its ascendancy. I needed to calm myself before the renovation grew ugly and out of hand.

Eyes still enclosed, my lungs deeply filled with salt-drenched air, blown from the ocean that ambled several miles away. I sucked it through my nose, the salt lightly tickling my taste buds. I slid my tongue over my slick teeth, wet with spit and back to normal. The severe wintriness finally began scratching at my arms, which had been left uncovered, a prickling feeling poking at my arms as nerves froze. After enduring the stuffy nightclub, the refreshing numbness was welcome. I let myself sit still for quite awhile, the salty breeze detonating the naked flesh of my face and shoulders.

As I soaked in my tranquility, the rusty clatter of doors opening sounded in tune with the irritated hiss scrawling the inside of my throat. Narrowed eyes glared at the intruders, the serenity abolished. Two men entered the scenery, both with sturdy, fixed faces and lovely blue eyes. One's hair protruded in many black spikes, the other's hanging darkly above his shoulders. Hushing my breath, I kept still as they treaded past my emaciated form.

They were a foot or so taller than me, the one with spiked hair pulling a lighter from his pocket as a cigarette waited in his mouth. The lambent flame of his lighter suddenly engulfed the still duskiness as he ignited the end. The light stunned me for a moment, sending my shoulders in an instinctive cringe.

"Why hello, darling. Didn't expect anyone else to be out here," one of them acknowledged me, the voice belonging to the man with lengthy hair. I gave him a meager smile in response, wanting nothing more than to be alone. I sighed heftily through my nose; displeased I'd been spotted. Remembering the crumbling blood on my face, a cold hand fluttered to wipe clean what I could before it was noticed, though a stark line was left on my white cheek.

"You care to enlighten us with your name?" The same man asked, letting himself fall gently back on the brick wall behind him for support, the incision Aleksi had left gone unobserved. I pressed my eyes closed, a thin crease structuring on my forehead.

"Mirja," I replied bluntly, striking a sudden interest in my shoes. I kicked a dirty clump of snow that'd been sitting in front of me. I felt a funny sickness in my stomach; one I knew I had ample distaste for. I scowled my quiet reprimands towards the disobedient monster, nearly forgetting the presence of the two.

"Jyrki, pleased to meet you, love." He informed me before I could ask. "And this here is Jussi." I peered up again, as Jussi was blowing smoke from the corner of his mouth. Both of their eyes were on me. I shrugged my response, then started peeling at my chipping black fingernail polish.

"So what brings you out here, anyways?" Jyrki finally asked. Lightly blowing currents toppled mischievously through his hair, though he paid no mind. I found myself already heavily addicted to gluing myself to his face, though only the fulsome rims of sunglasses reflecting moonlight struck back.

"I was going to enjoy a cancer stick here, but I forgot a lighter." I said, scrutinizing heatedly at the unlit cigarette I anxiously rolled between my fingers. I could deeply smell the tobacco it held, the reviving night enhancing my senses to an entirely different echelon. Another rumbling wave of yearning shuddered through me, leaving my fragile ribs quaking softly in its rouse.

"Give me the cigarette," Jussi instructed, extending his hand with his open palm facing upwards. I gently dropped it into his hand, the soft noise the paper made only loud in my ears. I pressed my back against the wall, looking up at him. His blue eyes concentrated imperturbably on the cigarettes as he pressed the lustrous orange tips together, lighting mine.

"Thanks," I muttered lightly as he handed it back, a wispy shower of warm ashes sprinkling on my jeans. He nodded his welcome, pulling a glove with the fingers off further down his wrist.

"Aren't you cold?" I asked, bringing my knees up. The cold air had finally surpassed me, no longer seeming as fresh and invigorating as I had found it before. I shivered lightly as I hugged my bony legs, finding myself looking up at them once more.

"Not exactly," Jussi muttered, though he slightly pulled his coat a little closer to his body. A shirt beneath that clung snugly to his torso, nicely defining his stomach I pleasingly noticed.

"Why? Does it bother you?" Jyrki answered my question with one of his own, not breaking the playful look roused on his face. He kept one hand rested beneath his chin with his elbow positioned upon his other arm as he casually leaned against the wall sustaining him.

I shook my head no, hiding my arms between my chest and knees to smooth the goose flesh swathing my arms. For a brief moment, I let myself wander from his face to gaze at the blinding moon, but found myself peeping at him once again.

I sighed as I raised the filter to my lips, vaguely tasting bitterness as I sucked the smoke in through my slightly parted teeth. Allowing its release, it billowed in a grey cloud before me, blotting the two from my vision for a mere second. The smell engorged the twitching migraine pains that had quiescently attached themselves to my insides, the ones that activated when they pleased. I let myself black out as my head ached instantaneously, the cigarette flavour raw in my mouth.

I put my cheek on the palm of my spare hand to help cleanse my desire-infected head, though the cut carved there stung badly enough to make me pull it immediately away. Suddenly no longer holding interest, I let the hardly touched cigarette slip from my fingers.

"Are we done having this little heart to heart moment?" I asked, minor impatience nipping the edges of my short-lived contentedness. "I've got to get back to work," I unhappily added, having realized I had sounded rather uncouth. I ground my shoe in the mucky snow for an oblivious moment, and then reluctantly stood.

"Have fun." Jussi said, dropping his burnt out cigarette to the floor and, as if not waiting for a moment of longing to kick in, pulled a fresh one out. The small smile that had playfully emerged from his lips was wiped away when Jyrki shoved his elbow into his side, muttering something along the lines of "don't be rude" that I couldn't quite completely catch.

"Mind if we walk you in?" Jyrki asked. Jussi scowled as he said this, putting the butt back in the carton and letting the yearn for nicotine slowly eat inside him in defeat. He shot a glance at me, I figured from a moment of loathing, and I could detect the hunger he harboured for the cigarette. For a quick second, I wondered what it would look like if one could see the tremendous hunger I suffered, far greater from one suffered from being deprived of nicotine.

"It's okay, you should let him have his cigarette. It's a painful thing, the cravings they leave behind, trust me." I smirked my response, tapping my lower back lightly with my fingertips. The antiquated bones inside ached terribly, as they'd been trapped in their never-growing membrane for years that seemed like mere minutes to me now.

"It wouldn't be polite," Jyrki insisted, leaving Jussi behind as he promptly caught up. I continued to stand, absorbing delightfully the delicate features obstructed in his face as he moved toward my waiting form.

"I guess," I shrugged as I replied, brushing fallen hair away from my face the wind had recently blown as I awaited his approach. His kindly smile brought a comfort that trembled ceaselessly within my heart, a feeling I hadn't completely undergone since I was fully alive.

His robust hands pulled the door open for the both of us, though he sought to usher me inside first. Loud music pounded instantly throughout my body as I stepped forward, holding Jyrki's arm tighter than I anticipated as he guided me back towards the bar.

"I greatly enjoyed our encounter," He unreservedly informed me as he helped me release my grip, placing a light farewell kiss on the hand he wrenched off his arm. "We should do it again sometime." Jyrki flashed another lovely smile, the smoothness of his face creasing to flatter the smile even more.

I cast a smile back, the extent of it stinging my cheek but the pain I ignored. I slid myself behind the counter as he departed, glancing backwards but only once, my head trying to grasp onto the fragile beauty he had seemed to possess. A part of me grumbled in envy, another in lust, and yet another in seducing hunger. I disregarded it as soon as it as come, for I knew it was only the beast in me doing such work. My body served as its catalyst, what it wanted it so often got. I had to fight to keep my sanity more often that not, and lately it was the battle I seemed to be failing.

Smoke wafted behind the bar and towards my face, the scent of Teemu's breath sundered within it. My head tilted as I narrowed my eyes at him, pulling the cigarette from his mouth and settling it in my own. The familiar avidity followed by satisfaction swelled in my mouth as my tongue endured the smoke, pulling it covetously down my throat. I released it from my lips and handed it back, pushing the insubstantial smoke in a thickening stream of grey.

"What's that?" Teemu pointed to my face, his mouth stuffed with the cigarette's butt stifling his words as he stepped to face me. I fluttered a hand to my cheek, pressing a fingertip on the broken skin, and gave an unconcerned shrug as I relaxed my widened eyes. I'd forgotten about it and at the remark of it, a tiny bout of fear exploded but died down nearly as suddenly as it'd appeared.

"Probably walked into a door," I replied, pushing a giggle out for effect. He shot a glance as he poured liquor in several glasses, urging smoke from the corner of his mouth while pushing the filled ones across the marbled top. I slid a hand below the counter, pulling a glass up as two girls sat, each giving me a deathly glare.

I held the glass with a tighter force, feeling it weaken under my bolstering grasp as I forced a smile in their direction. Patience was deteriorating, along with my thinning sanity, and I was trying really hard to keep everything together. I settled the cup on the counter before me before I'd break it, though noticed a small crack had resulted.

I saw their mouths move as they kept their thickly mascaraed eyes on me, but the thick music blotted the words to a faint mutter even I barely picked up. I took a step closer, using two fingers to lightly massage one temple as I retrieved another glass, civilly asking them to repeat their request.

"Just get us water," one sneered, her evident annoyance strongly showing throughout her delicate facial features. Her outlined lips twitched in a pleased curve, the tips of her white teeth barely showing. The woman accompanying her held her head turned to the side, eyeing the surrounding vista.

"Teemu," I called, tapping my fingertips on the counter. I hissed a bout of air through my lips when he didn't turn, which grew into a rapid scowl as I turned to pull two bottled waters from the refreshment rack. Their long fingers curled around the bottles as I passed them, preceding to remove their bottoms from their seats once it became their possession. Their bothersome presence brought relief, until I noticed the horde of people wanting things. I called Teemu's name once more, but his attention could not be caught.

I hesitantly closed my eyes, spots of flashing colours left from the strobe lights. A delicate kind of pain eased itself around my temples, drilling deeper along with the pulse of the music playing. I tapped my forehead lightly, focusing on that sensation rather than that of the approaching migraine, until I felt lips brush my cheek.

"Don't be so sad," Karri chimed, unveiling her identity before I had even attempted to determine it. I shifted to look at her, blinking several times before the blur in my vision left. She stood next to me, her feet spread apart, allowing her torso to lean towards me. A large, exultant smile wove on her petite lips, her eyes wide and clear yet bordered neatly by her long blonde hair.

"I'm not," I murmured back, skimming my fingertips across my forehead once again. "My head just hurts." I dropped my arm, letting it brush the fabric of my pants during its descent.

She cooed, pushing her forehead against my shoulder, seemingly hoping it would alleviate my throbbing headache. "Wanna get muffins?" She asked, pulling herself up to await my response.

"No, I just need something for my headache," I replied, letting a smile clamber loose. She leaned her stomach against the counter, her arms crossed over the cool marble.

"You can go home," she announced, her eyes brimming marvelously with trepidation. She looked little and fragile curved over the way she was. "We all know how bitchy you get whenever a migraine hits." A smirk perked a corner of her mouth, casting her in playful effulgence.

"Go, I'll take over." She then demanded, giving me a light push that sent me towards the direction of the door. I lifted my coat from the hook it rested on, immediately plunging my arms through the sleeves. Because it was so warm inside, I'd feel stuffy until I exited the building. I hated how weak I felt, the limits it placed on me were restrictive and I constantly felt sick. I let a quiet moan of dejection slip loose as I pressed my scalding fingers on the door handles, breaching the thin screen of warmth.

I silently slipped outside, feeling wind brush pressure against my sore cheek. Instinctively I lifted my hand, trying to evaluate the damage. I concluded it would heal before the night's demise, new skin healing over it as good as before. I transposed my hands to my pockets; the unpleasantly cold air was starting to hurt my fingertips. I kept my head down as I walked along the snowy sidewalk to prevent my nose from numbing. I noted how worn and scuffed my shoes were; I'd need new ones soon.

Swiping the bangs from my face, I peered up once more as my nose sniffled, though there wasn't much to look at but the same edifices that stood before me. I had found them so interesting many years ago, before I turned. Most were just tall, old buildings, their aged marble taking on a decrepit look. They still were beautiful, but didn't capture the appeal they'd held so long ago. Newer buildings had sprouted among them as time passed, the change in eras evident among them.

I turned the corner, stopping on a set of stairs. I pulled my cigarettes out of my pocket, but then remembered I didn't have a lighter to light any with. Irate, I returned the carton into my pocket. I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling utterly hopeless on what to do next. Feeling frustrated, I placed my face in my hands, the ailment from earlier creeping slowly back into my system.

Uneasiness provoked my body, urging me to rearrange myself on the icy steps. I let myself lean back on my elbows, locking my gaze on the moon bright in the darkened sky, feeling the sickly cold and damp air surrounding me. I shuddered as I pulled my sleeves to fully covering my exposed hands; a brittle sigh accompanied with a wet sniffle the only noises I emitted.

Growling hunger punctured my stomach in another wave of painful bloodlust, my teeth searing through my gums without remorse. I tried to fight it, though the sharpened canines refused to renounce from their position. The feeling it left in my stomach hurt with a conflagrant malaise, and I shut my eyes as languor threatened to overtake me. A weak cry of agony broke free from my vocal chords, my mind the only part of my body that refused to slip into the bestiality the untended hunger antagonized. Knowing I'd have no choice but to give in, I let my teeth sink heavily into my wrist, tearing the fabric as they slid into my bloodstream.

I kept my eyes closed, ignoring the burning pain that accompanied the bite and inhaling steadily through my nose. Thick streams of blood trickled over my tongue as I swallowed, nearly choking me as it filled my throat. The appetite didn't entirely die down, but I nonetheless felt it gradually fade as I sucked the own undead life from me. It wasn't exactly healthy, but I hoped it would fight it off for at least another couple hours.

Releasing my wrist from my savage mouth, I spat into the snow bordering the sidewalks, overpowering its whiteness with a deep red. Warm tears slid unnoticed down my paled cheeks as I tugged at my ripped sleeve, attempting to clean myself as neatly as possible. I used the whole sleeve to wipe my nose, which ran turbulently from both the cold and small crying fit.

Ragged clouds of my breath swirled in the air surrounding me as I focused on the throbbing, slightly lifting a finger to slide the tip across the open wound. It glimmered wetly, the flow reduced to a dawdling seep. My lips twitched into a small scowl, comprehending I only had so much blood left. Every cut I'd obtained today had only taken away from that, and I was weakening enough as it was. Harshly, I shot out a perturbed breath.

I leaned over my knees to better circulate my breathing, resting my head on the railing beside me as weariness befell my eyelids. Slowly they slipped closed, leaving the cold air to brush over my profoundly made-up lids, the wind gently rousing my eyelashes.

The cold metal beneath my temple tranquilized my migraine, benumbing it to a dim ache. I liked the way it felt, pressing myself closer to engulf myself within the acerb cold. The silence echoing from my ribcage made me yearn for the sound of my own heart beating, something I hadn't heard in years. Instead, I steadied myself with the noise of my lungs drawing in air, though it wasn't a necessity. I did it because it made me feel more like a person and less of a monster.

The lifeless blood I still had in my body continued to freeze, though the pain I no longer felt aching my limbs. My breathing slowed to its own rhythm, one I found content in listening to. I felt like there was nobody left to walk the streets, making my own breathing sound foreign. I let a pleased smile twitch at the ends of my lips as my will over myself began to cease, the cold aching every muscle confined in my skin.

The noises began to gradually fade, churning into one giant blur. My head overtook haziness, but instead of fighting it, I let it consume my consciousness. The sound of my own lungs deflating seemed to subdue everything else, and I tried focusing on only that.

The tension that encased my muscles tightly eased as I relaxed, and I began to feel limp. I enjoyed the feeling of nothingness I encountered as I sat on the steps and the feeling of being frozen. My breathing quieted until I had refrained altogether, but I hadn't noticed until someone stirred me.

"Mirja?

My eyes parted wearily, slowly allowing more into my sight. Through the thick haziness I noticed a dark figure standing above me. A low whine grumbled in my chest, my body irritated it's sleep had been jostled.

I looked up again, the blurriness dissipating. There was still enough that the identity of the figure was vague. I slid my feet closer towards my body, the tendons aching from remaining outstretched. I realized I must've spread them out as I slept.  
I wiped my face with my sleeves, one of them scratchy from the dried blood. I pulled it away immediately, perturbed by it's remembered existence. I dropped my other arm gently, letting it land in my lap beside the other. I looked up once again at the figure, who had silenced as I awoken, and recollection flushed over me.

"Jyrki?" I questioned, puzzled I'd even remembered his name. I sounded hoarse from my immersed slumber. I blinked a couple times, trying to get him into focus. He smiled lightly down at me, and extended his hand towards me.

"Why are you here?" I ignored his outstretched hand and continued being quizzical.

"Karri sent me," he replied, letting his hand slump to his side once he realized it was not wanted. I remained silent for a brief moment, pondering Karri's actions.

"Why?" I then asked, rather bluntly, thought I was still somewhat abstractedly preoccupied with why Karri had done such a thing.

"She was concerned with your whereabouts," He told me, kneeling down beside me. The sound of his pants crumpling as he knelt felt like claws gripping my migraine. My eyes snapped shut as I drew in a heavy breath.

"She called the house a couple times, you didn't answer." He shifted his weight, letting his right knee collide gently with the cement.  
"I guess I fell asleep," I noted, the last of my drowsiness dribbling away. "Your knee is going to get wet," I then added.

"Can I take you home?" His forearms perched on his upright knee, allowing him to steady his balance. His attention was evidently diverted to me, instead of the snow-dampened sidewalk.

"Why?" I asked once more, inadvertently leaning my head as I watched him.

"You sound like a broken record." He laughed, and proceeded to smile a beautiful smile, one that would make me feel awful if I rejected his offer. A diminutive piece of me wanted to tag along, anyway.

"If I must," I sighed; the little enslaved being squelched with joy.

He pulled himself off the ground, and as he did I could detect the sweet aroma of his skin. It sent an oddly pleasant shudder throughout me, yet I couldn't help but feel distraught by this. I wasn't even sure why, but it did.

As Jyrki escorted me towards his sleek black car, I couldn't help but indulge myself in the scent. It had a strange sense empowerment that I couldn't resist. Part of my sober mind ascertained it was my dreaded hormones. At the very thought of this, I wrinkled my nose.

The door opened before me, Jyrki's hand clasping the handle as the other brushed me inside. It smelled of clean leather, men's deodorant, and stale cigarette smoke. I slid myself on a shiny black seat, admiring the dark interior. It was easy to adjust to, unlike the vivid white snow that consistently made my eyes sore. Heat exuded from the car's vents, delightfully warming my pink nose. Jyrki effortlessly glided into the seat beside me; I hadn't even heard him close my door.

"Where are we off to?" He asked, reaching up to secure himself under the seatbelt. As I watched, I reached up to do the same. As I leaned slightly to press the buckle in, I caught sight of the time; I'd slept longer than I thought.

"My place, I suppose. I should lie down." I admitted, feeling a deep grumble of hunger slash through my train of thought.

"Your place it is," His voice countered as he shifted gears. I remained quiet for a moment, watching his hand clasp the shift stick and move it.

"You know, someone could've stolen the car." I eventually snorted about his leaving the key in the ignition, knowing I was coming off as a pompous brat. Jyrki merely titled his head towards me and smirked.

"It's not mine." He chuckled, turning sharply. We weren't too far from my house, I noticed, the buildings concocting into a smear of recognition. "It's Jussi's." He added after a slight pause.

"You are a terrible person." I informed him, but he took no offense. I pressed myself further against the thermal seat, keeping my arms tightly crossed. It offered a sense of protection, but from what I couldn't figure out.

The drive leading to my apartment concluded to be a fairly short one, and I couldn't help but find myself growing more and more disappointed as we approached the front entrance. I liked how the defectless silence and the exhilarant aroma engrossed me, and how Jyrki wouldn't fuss over my impassivity. It was similar to the moment behind the club, his aura seemingly melting my distressing predicaments.

We rolled to a graduate stop, one I wasn't happy with, and I forced myself to brace the cold. Before my fingers touched the handle, however, I found to be in a state of being heavily intrigued.

"How did you know where I lived?" I asked, my eyebrow slanting upwards in inquisitiveness. My hand levitated over my lap, frozen with the rest of my body until an answer had been provided.

Jyrki looked at me for a moment, his expression bare. My hand, already beginning to ache from the suspension, plopped onto my thigh. Both my eyebrows were raised in an inquiring manner, watching with amusement.

"You live with Karri," he said, but I couldn't decipher it as either a statement or question. I nodded slowly, realizing Karri must have mentioned something. Jyrki nodded along with me, his shoulders relaxing, as he understood he was correct.

"I guess this is my stop then," I stated, referring to what he'd said. I clutched the door's handle and pulled it open, revealing the snow-dampened sidewalk before me.

"How lovely." I uncouthly commented on the piled snow, my feet dangling above the curb. I sat for a second, mustering myself to exit the car when I heard Jyrki's shuffling. I craned my neck to see what he was doing, but as I peered over I only saw his door close and he walking around the front of the car.

"What are you doing?" I barked, still sitting sideways on the seat. He stepped over a lump of frozen snow, stopping in front of me.

"Properly bidding you farewell." He replied, holding his hand towards me once again. I let my hand slip into his, his majestic hand warmly encasing mine. With a brisk pull, he had me on my feet.  
"Don't forget to take the keys with you." I teased, reaching to close the door behind me though Jyrki beat me to it.  
"Right here." He retorted, holding them up as he regained his position at my side. I couldn't stop myself from smirking as he took hold of my elbow and ushered me towards the building. Inside was just as cold, with dim lights revealing shreds of wall here and there.

Wordlessly, we climbed the several flights of steps leading to my floor, his alluring hand clasping my elbow throughout the entire escapade.

"I hate not having anything to say," was all I could verbalize, though I thought it was a fairly appropriate conversation starter. He chuckled, and as he did I felt his fingers hold me a little tighter.

"Don't we all," was his brief response, and with that we stood facing the hall routed towards my door. Using my free arm, I snaked my fingers into my pocket to salvage the needed key. As I drew it out, I caught sight of one I wish I hadn't.

Mere steps away, Aleksi perched himself diligently against the darkened doorframe, and I knew he had been waiting patiently. A stream of billowing smoke cut through the air between us, the smell beginning to singe my lungs. I let a weak cough emerge, sending myself a silent memo to kick the habit. Although it was permitted, Aleksi smoked in the building and often got away with it. As its thickness started dissipating, Aleksi glared furiously at Jyrki while he stood nonchalantly beside me.

"Hi, Aleksi," I quietly muttered, avoiding his deathly gaze. I turned towards Jyrki, my nervous hands twisting together. I timidly drew in a gasp.

"Jyrki, would you like to come in?" I asked, though it sounded more like a plea. As he parted his lips to inquire about my invitation, Aleksi coldly interjected.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to speak with her alone." His voice hissed through his teeth, his jaw clenching as he flung a glowering cigarette butt aside. I tried to follow it, but to my luck it was as good as gone.

"That's quite alright," Jyrki responded, ignoring the rude tone he'd been addressed in. I stared at him, trying to silently beg him to wait until Aleksi snatched my jacket aggressively. I clenched my lips together tightly, listening to Jyrki's steps fade as I stuffed my hand into my pocket to retrieve the key.

As I shoved it into the lock, Aleksi pressed himself firmly against me. I felt something push stiffly against my upper thigh as I turned the key slowly, all the while paying close attention to the heavy breathing Aleksi was projecting. As realization slowly sunk in, my face bloomed with both fear and disgust, all surging in one powerful burst.

I heard Jyrki's car snarl to life, but it suddenly sounded so distant. Everything did. I swallowed a painful lump that'd nestled in my throat, my farewell barely perceptible, even to me.

I tried going as slow as possible, but there was nothing left to procrastinate. Aleksi immediately pushed the door open, his impatience overwhelming him. The moment the door was sealed behind me, he didn't hesitate.

I'd barely removed one arm from my coat when he pulled me towards my bedroom as if I were weightless. I tried twisting myself loose, but I couldn't break his grip. I tumbled over, the carpeting of the living room bunching my shirt up and snagging my skin as I went. I swallowed the scream that had clambered up my throat, continuing to endlessly squirm.

Finally, he'd released me at the threshold of my room; my clothes twisted so badly my top half was nearly exposed. He settled himself on my bed, the mattress springs groaning loudly under his sudden weight.

"Who the fuck was that?" he demanded as he fished a butt from his pocket and placing it between his lips.

"I needed a ride," I mumbled weakly, careful to keep Jyrki anonymous. His stare was locked intently on my shriveled form, huddled in a hysteric mass several feet before him. Wisps of my hair flowed in front of my face, with only slivers here and there allowing me to watch him.

He exhaled, the squeal of his muscles at work weakening the flesh in my ears. In an attempt to keep my nerves at bay, I focused all my concentration on his breathing.  
"Who was it?" He repeated, obliterating my meditation. I chose to keep mum as panic began tightening my muscles; I only allowed him a slight quiver of my head.

"Come here," I chose a different subject, patting the space beside him on my tousled bed. I was able to release the tension in my fingers, but couldn't relax the rest of me. I felt a twitch knot within my calves, though it was all I could motivate my legs to do.

Moments drawled on agonizingly, through which I remained stationary. I felt the searing boil of his frustration intensify as he sucked another drag through his polluted esophagus.

"Mirjami!" He barked, grey smoke wafting through his parted mouth. His use of my name tipped me at his empowering anger; I still couldn't pull myself up, yet I opted to stay silent. I watched as he dropped his cigarette, which singed another dark hole in my carpet, and pulled himself into a solid stance.

In the second it took for me to release a breath, he took immediate hold of me, his fingers locking my arms tight. A tiny scream formulated within the twisted chords of my throat and choked on itself before it could tear free. The skin that bound my arms to my body felt as if it would sear off completely.

Aleksi continued soundlessly, his burnt eyes holding a distorted gaze as he witnessed the panic rapidly amplifying my pupils. He couldn't feel anything aside from the abhorrence he'd gotten himself accustomed to; his very skin would crawl without the aid of something charring his intake of reality.

I let a loosened hand claw erratically at his shoulders, which were spread broadly above my writhing abdomen. My continuous struggle led to no avail, ebbing into the compressed feeling that was gnawing at my self-control.

"Let me go, please," I wailed, the voice that fell out sounding like a frightened kitten. I tried kicking my legs in the foolish hope I'd wriggle loose, but Aleksi snapped my legs in place.

The carpeting that had supported me for so long then fell from my back within an instant. The sudden loss of it had distorted my thinking, and before I had time to even realize I was lying quiet and confused in Aleksi hold, he threw me towards the kitchen.

The direct impact shattered the ancient bone in my left leg, and the scream that followed was entirely involuntary. I despised any surrender to him, for it only fed his pleasure of destruction. The shriek bled my throat dry nonetheless, leaving me gasping on the floor.

He followed me shortly after my voice died out, his lips set in a tight line as he approached my curled body.

"Don't scream!" He bellowed angrily, proceeding to kick my broken leg as he spoke. I cried anyway, the noise bursting from my lungs. He immediately slapped his hand over my mouth, though it had done nothing but stifle my blare of pain.

His other hand worked at my pants, tearing wildly at them. I kicked as hard as I could, but the damaged leg gave way. Fierce tears soaked my cheeks, but I couldn't feel them. I couldn't feel anything but the everlasting destruction in my leg, which felt like every possible nerve I'd ever acquired was there.

A seam snapped loose, and through my subdued bawling I heard its stitching continue to break. Aleksi savagely tugged at it, until there was a broad slit alongside my uninjured leg. By then I had gone quiet, and I couldn't recall when exactly I had stopped. Aleksi slid one of his hands inside the rip, and he glided his burly fingertips along my pasty thigh.

"Who was he?" Aleksi spat as his fingers wove their way beneath the side of my panties. His brow creased his sweating forehead into fine, dark lines, his charcoal eyes focused on body. It took tremendous effort to swallow the saliva building in my drying mouth, but as my body trembled I managed.

"Jyrki," I garbled dryly. My incoherent cries had reduced to unstinted quivering, and now and then a soft cry would slip. My face was nearly soaked, authorizing the ends of my hair to stick to my face. Aleksi continued his lust-driven prowling, using his hands to rip away any obstacle barricading his path.

At the admission of my reply, he made no further inquisitions. I wasn't entirely sure if he'd even deciphered what I'd said, if he noticed I'd spoke at all. I kept staring at the colourless ceiling above us as he persisted his stroking. He crushed his hips into mine, his weight piling on my insubstantial one. As lingering moments elapsed, I prepared myself to silently abide his doings when the very hand he'd just been using collided viciously with my sticky cheek. As soon as his palm detached from my skin, the beast within me awakened.

"Don't ever hit me!" I squealed, collecting every atom of strength I possessed and pushed my hands violently into Aleksi's chest. An unexpected gasp was all he was capable of uttering as he tumbled backwards onto my broken leg.

The scream that it produced was a powerful one, one that shattered my own ears and pleased the lively beast. Its fury bled into my veins with ease, and I quickly realized my perseverance was retreating. I had no remorse in its slipping away, and let it detach completely.

He rolled off my leg, squashing every bone fragment as he went. The pain burned with a feverish intensity, and all my screams melted together.

"Shut up!" He blared again, taking a chair from beside the table and throwing it at me. It barely grazed by my face, with one leg hurtling against my nose. As it crashed against the floor, blood spurted heavily from my nostrils.

It slid down my neck in warm streams, but I paid no notice. I had already pulled myself up and lunged at his leg. I couldn't do much with the injury I had attained, but as my face neared his calve I burrowed my unsheathed incisors into the thick flesh.

This time his scream echoed through the apartment, powerful enough to make him toss his head back as he howled. His hands balled into fists, and he punched the side of my head. I didn't budge, though, as I was conveniently stuck in his leg. My nose continued to bleed profusely, smearing repulsively on his pants, with the added blood of his newly acquired wounds.

"Get off me!" Aleksi growled, striking me once more, only with added force. That time I fell away, landing helplessly on my side. The taste of his bittersweet blood rolled thickly over my tongue, letting the monster having a teasing taste. It had dripped sloppily down my chin, but with my nosebleed I was unable to differentiate whose blood was whose.

He mouthed another furious grunt, lumbering forward to snatch a lock of my hair, the latter of it riddled with crimson droplets, and pulled. Immediately my hands flew to the sides of my head, along with incoherent curses stringing recklessly from my mouth.

I raised my good leg and aimed at his knee, striking it aggressively. He buckled immediately, collapsing with a heavy plod on the floor. He released my hair somewhere in the antic, and I seized this opportunity to strike; a lovely crack sounding as my fist collided with his lips.

I pulled away slowly, not noticing the blood dripping from my knuckles but focused instead on the ceaseless spill oozing from Aleksi's perverse grin. He gazed disjointedly at me, his smile broadening as a chuckle gurgled from him. I remained still, uncertain of what was going to ensue next. Aleksi led no trace on what his following move would be, and I was assured I had no interest in knowing.

I looked down at my hand, gently unfurling them from their hard grasp. Pain gripped the joints tightly but briefly, but it was nothing compared to the screaming in my leg. The little amount that had dried flaked off effortlessly, the rest twinkling in giddy puddles in my palm. Seeing my warped reflection in the beads, my empty gaze filling with hunger, I knew what I wanted, what had to be done. I supposed it was the thing within my influencing my proper judgment, but it sounded so proper.

I looked at him once more, though he still sat in the spot he landed in. Now and then, bubbling from the thickening pool of blood, a giggle broke from him. The dumbfounded look still plastered the edges of his face, the same distorted smile glued to his mouth.

"Aleksi?" I called quietly, leaning in without thinking. The blood-ridden hand had fallen into my lap, supported by the unhurt leg. The broken one sprawled awkwardly from my body, the stinging a remote buzzing now.

"Mirja," he replied, just as gently, garbled by the blood and drained of any initial emotion. A gasp caught in my throat as panic seized my nerves; I was completely incapable of predicting his next move. I swallowed a thickening lump, trying to even out my jagged breathing.

Blood drooled down his chin, making a sickening thud as it dripped onto the floor. I felt my lips pull back in disgust, the skin surrounding my brows furrowing along. I tried to calculate my next defense, but the pieces refused to click together.

Fleeing was automatically an alternative I could not choose, my leg was demolished and it would take far too long until it was supportive enough to walk on. I thought about dragging myself away, but Aleksi was able to wait and catch me even if I had pulled myself all the way to the door.

_Just kill him now. _It spoke to me, a tint of vanity in that sugary-sweet voice I could never decline. That voice possessed me; it controlled the being that I had evolved into. I swallowed, fighting to clutch tightly onto my humane manners. Even so, the crimson liquid sliding off his skin heavily transfixed me, luminously glowing in velvety drops.

_But there would be such a mess. I don't like messes._ A piece of the beast deflated then, kicked back by my inflexibility and the surfacing of such a thought. I wanted to reassure myself that that would keep it in its place, but I knew it would hear me.

Yet the wounds, the glistening wounds spilling deliciousness all over the floor…it trapped me in its lurid, transparent claws, and the infected side of me let it. Wanted it.

"That's not fair!" I screamed, squeezing my eyes together and clamping my bloodied arm. My nose was still bleeding brutally, causing me to sniff now and then to attempt catching the heavy drops. It didn't leave much of significant difference, dark red blobs spilled on the floor anyway.

I wanted to sob, but a sick, strangled noise fell out instead. I collected myself rapidly enough, deciding it was okay to reopen my eyes. Aleksi was immediately the center of my attention, I noticed, as his eyelids drooped heavily and drunkenly. The beginning of a murmur balled on the tip of my tongue as I prepared to gurgle his name once more, heaving in a breath as I tilted forward unconsciously once again.

"You bitch!" he screeched, elevating an arm to slap across my face. Instantly I was retched to the side, bashing solidly with a rack of cabinets. The metallic ring embedded on his middle finger slit the flesh of my cheek as it had previously, leaving behind a deeper gauge.

"Fucking ring," I murmured, pressing my fingers against the cut. I was quite fed up with what that disgusting excuse for jewelry did to me. The last ferocious fibril of impatience swelled, engulfing any compassion I had left.

Instead of swallowing, I pooled some saliva beneath my tongue and then spat it satisfyingly at his face. In a moment of confusion, Aleksi twitched as it smacked his cheek. I let a pleased smirk unfurl before he pounced.

Having a strong recollection of me nipping at him, he used his teeth to further increase the depth of the slash his ring already provided. Another burst of hot fluid splashed free, speckling his face with red drops. My lips curled back in a horrific scream as my knee acted as a protective barrier. What scarcely could be called a leg now lied limply beneath me, any pain it ensued a distant suffering. I had the lovely opportunity to steal a peek and found a few splinters sheared through the skin here and there.

Aleksi's mouth was still ensnared in my cheek, ripping more every time I struggled, so I turned to beating his chest with my fists. It wasn't any more productive than my earlier attempt, but it was better than nothing. The distraction it provided lulled any pain my body was receiving.

I paused to gasp, a few times more than I expected, when it was first brought to my attention. The delightful smoothness of Aleksi's neck teasingly wavered before me. I ceased my gibberish cries mid-squeal, locking on the slick blue vein entwining beneath his skin. I hadn't noticed before, but he'd been making brutish noises the while he was chewing on my face. I wasn't still completely aware, as my mind was focused elsewhere, but I could still detect it with my pristine silence.

Having accompanied my anger, my crude hunger divulged at once. It's taunts from earlier still echoed happily in my consciousness, forming the same ridicule of a childhood song. I was persuaded easily enough, I evidently discovered, allowing my teeth to slither into view. A bitter hesitation still nipped the edge of my thoughts, however.

This is wrong, this is very wrong; I couldn't help but think as I continued to watch his throat. But I was so _hungry_. The encouraging emptiness my stomach felt batted any good intentions away. The hollow feeling it left made me uncomfortable, which it promised was another respectable reason to dig in.

I chose to brush my lips against his skin, smelling the sweat and blood. It was very rich, and left a salty taste on my tongue. I allowed the slightest touch between the two, and even that was getting increasingly difficult to resist.

The glands below his ear bulged every time he locked his jaw on my skin; I was surprised he was capable of holding on for so long. It held a very enticing appeal about it, one that reinforced my craving.

I couldn't help but disregard any warning the teeny voice residing in the back of my mind and plunge slickly into him. A rickety wail emitted from him, and his teeth instantaneously surrendered. A heaping gush spilled marvelously down my cheek, though I was too preoccupied to fret.

Through the thickening haze I noted his disjointed whines, his frantic sentences garbled into a disordered mush of words. Swarming heavily about me was a sense of rage that flourished into hatred, all splendidly tied together by my poignant monstrosity.

My bleeding cheek was soon accompanied by Aleksi's neck wounds, which squirted blood as heftily as my open gash. A few profanities spat out by fear drowned in his mouth and barely held their significance. His long arms fluttered limply, trying to claw at whatever he could hold, and I merely watched as a couple dribbles leaked from my nose and splashed into his hair. The oozing red strain had died down tremendously, leaving the remaining blood-fall tickling the inside of my nostrils.

Aleksi managed to squeeze my leg just then, his enraged fingers grasping the inflamed flesh tightly. I flung my head back in a bloodcurdling scream, banging my scalp on the wall behind me. All the pain came spurting back, vibrating up the length of my body and singeing every nerve along the way. The tips of my fingers drew into tight claws, the tallest of my fingers biting into my unwary palm.

Seizing his chance, Aleksi fumbled to stand and immediately staggered back, falling into a shelf. Utensils spilled on the tiling around him, clattering nosily as they hit. His shirt was almost an entirely different colour as blood trickled in uneven lines through his lips and down his throat. A dark spot continued to flourish on his leg, dripping down his calf as he left footprints wherever a puddle hadn't already formed.

I paused at the upheaval, my chest wildly heaving as I strained for air. I hadn't quite taken into realization that my hands cupped my thigh, currents of blood pooling in the crevices of my palm. I watched with mild fixation as he bent down, his mind noticeably growing muddy, as he coiled his fingers around a knife's handle. His actions seemed choppy, as if he didn't quite remember how to function.

"Aleksi put that down!" I yelled, getting anxious as he drew near. I had an absurd worry of spilling all over the floor, the bizarre phobia kicking in only now. He watched me with a feral look in his eyes, spitting out a mouthful of saliva tinted a glistening red. I started to push myself to the side using the aid of my foot when Aleksi tripped over himself and fell awkwardly towards me. Whatever his previous intention had been, it certainly hadn't been to plunge it heartily above my hip.

I had nothing left to produce another scream, and instead short, numerous gasps took hold. The blood I had just devoured poured hotly around the sliver blade, adding to the overflowing mess in my hands. Aleksi twitched in a nerve-wrecked heap in my lap, his left arm bouncing on my broken leg.

"God damnit!" I fiercely spat, kicking him away as I pulled the projecting handle. It was nestled in tightly and no matter how hard I pulled it refused to budge. I reluctantly freed it, wailing softly as I leaned my head back. Every part of me hurt tremendously, and I had no strength left.

Aleksi continued to lie bewilderedly, breathing faintly and making no effort to continue his rampage. I felt a sweeping relaxation overwhelm me, and I decided I'd had enough struggling to resist. My chest heaved raggedly, the choppy inhalation too fast for me to catch my breath.

I didn't care about bleeding anymore, all my roaring attention was focused on the knife. It hurt so badly, and I wanted to scream but I knew I couldn't, and that made me panic a little more.

"Help me, please." The sound of my own voice scratching to freedom surprised me; I didn't know where they came from. It wasn't like me to beg for help, but the frightened child that I had once been infested my brain. My willowy fingers curled timidly over the knife's handle, pulling frantically but unveiling no success. The sight of Aleksi, who was resting flaccidly on the floor, interrupted the midst of my panic.

A new fear tainted the air then, one that froze whatever blood my body stored. I mustered whatever energy I could and pulled myself forward, so my arms stretched along the length of my legs. I wasn't able to go much further as the knife prevented me from doing so. The searing agony I now ignored, just like the rest of my howling body.

"Aleksi?" I called, trying to stretch my arm enough to reach him. My fingertips strained and still I couldn't reach. He made no movement in response to my call, which tightened the fear already entwining my anxiety.

"Aleksi!" I screamed louder, pulling my abdomen up to ease the pressure on the blade. I knew I was immobile, so my only hope was shouting. Aleksi continued to lie without response, which left me with the terrible realization he was dead. Indignant tears congregated at the brim of my eyes, spilling instantly. I knew there was going to be bitter consequences; I just didn't want to confront them.

A frustrated groan sprained free, aching my stomach as it fled my lungs. I tried using my foot to provoke a reaction, but even as my toes barely scraped his body, no movement occurred. I had known he was dead before I'd yelled his name, however the part of me that enjoyed feeding on false hope controlled my train of thought.

As I slid downwards to flatten myself, I picked up a thumping coming from the hall, sounding as if a sizeable object had fallen on the staircase. I knew immediately those to be footsteps, fearing someone's entrance as the sound enlarged. Left with no time to counter, the door veered open before me.

"Why did I leave that unlocked?" I snarled, having no idea I'd spoken my thought aloud. Jyrki stood in the doorframe, overlooking my chaotic scene.

"I believe that's the least of your worries," he chuckled, taking a step towards me. "I thought I heard you yell my name." He paused, his hand glued to the doorknob.

"Why would I call your name? I could've sworn you left!" I bellowed, perplexity nearly bursting my head open. Having finally quit moving, I promptly felt the throbbing grip my injuries. My hands clasped tightly over the blade nuzzled in my right hip.

"I never left. I held no trust for that man…Mirja what happened?" He cried, rather calmly, as he analyzed the unscrupulousness of the situation. He still clutched the metal knob, his legs starting to tremble; he couldn't move forward anymore.

"He hit me," I replied in the same meek tone I used under Aleksi's pressure. I didn't know whom I was trying to fool, Jyrki obviously caught on faster than I would've liked. I would have preferred he just hadn't to begin with, but it was too late now. He continued to stand, looking bewildered, so I took it upon myself to continue.

"It just sort of broke into a fight. I didn't feel like dealing with his daftness, so I fought back. I think I fought back a little too hard, though." My fingers had risen to my nose by then, feeling the caked blood framing my nostrils.

Jyrki still hadn't spoke, but one quick glance revealed he was fixated on Aleksi's crusted corpse. He finally released the knob, his arm composing a leather-on-leather rustle that immediately caught my attention. It had actually startled me, causing my body to jump. This included my hands, which jolted away from the knife.

Horror infected his expression as he took notice, the realization that I was hurt getting his gears going. He half sprinted to where I slouched, ripping his shirt as he leaped. I giggled a little at this, thinking how horribly cliché it all really was.

"Here," he muttered, pressing the cloth into my hand so he could tear another. I held it in a crumpled ball for a moment, and then reached to clean myself as its purpose sunk in.

"This is what it's like on a good day," I muttered, spitting blood from my teeth as I blotted my stomach. I contemplated silently what I was going to do with the blade. Jyrki squatted next to me, using another fragment of cloth to dab my nose.

"I'm taking you to the hospital," he suddenly affirmed, pulling away from my streaked face and resting his arm on his knee. I really was in no mood to go, but I figured I didn't have a choice.

"Can we leave this behind, please?" I pointed to the blade, jutting coyly from my skin. I hated how it gleamed at me, my blood glittering around it. Jyrki stared at his hesitantly, his arm trembling on his kneecap. Without a word, he pushed himself up, only to reposition himself on my lap. He carefully piloted his legs over mine, landing his bottom softly on my thighs and a safe distance from the knife.

I watched amusingly, trying to think of something other than the impending agony. My hands hung below my chin, interlaced with the sodden fabric mashed between them. I noticed a compelling smell then, drifting wholly through my nose. It was Jyrki, splashed with the intriguing scent of his cologne, Jussi's cigarettes, sweat, and freshly dyed hair. All together it was wonderful, distinct, and struck a secret little pine for him racing through my hormones.

To my dismay, a spout of fresh pain blunted my private pleasure as he tugged the knife loose. I shoved the rag in my mouth almost instinctively, though not completely dulling my squeal. I pressed the cloth with my teeth, creating another flimsy barricade for my scream as cold blood seeped onto my tongue.

Jyrki grunted and jerked backwards as the knife slid free, leaving a glistening fissure behind. A long, rugged pull of air into my lungs filled the room with its raspy sound, the aftermath of my screams.

"It really freaking hurts!" I cried, the sensation of damp tears beckoned by pain drip off my cheeks, to a staggered Jyrki. He released the knife anxiously, the clatter it made on the floor swallowed by my yelps. Composed in one swift motion, he cradled me tightly and stumbled to the doorway. I muttered now and then as he tottered down the steps that I could walk myself, but we both knew what a lie that was.


End file.
